Overbo suggests using type "as a way to really engage them further. Instead, my mind got ahead of me, and I convinced myself we weren't compatible.Say, 'Great, let's talk a little bit more about that. As an ISTJ, he was logical and detail driven; as an ENFJ, I was feeling and big picture-oriented."I'm an ISTJ," he told me, and that's the moment I decided it could be doomed.It was only my fourth date with the guy, but until then, he'd seemed perfect: an intelligent 23-year-old with blond hair, visible maturity, and the derring-do to wear a pink button-up. , categorizes people into 16 different, four-letter personality types, where each letter represents a preference between two modes of thinking—extroverted (E) versus introverted (I); sensing (S) versus intuitive (N); thinking (T) versus feeling (F); and judging (J) versus perceiving (P).Almost 3 years to the day from our first DMS date, I'm typing this note one-handed because I'm currently holding our 10 day-old daughter in the other. Michelle and I are also now highlighted in an undergrad sociology textbook in a chapter profiling online relationships.Thanks again for your genius idea that brought us together. As our conversations continued, I began to slowly realize how cool this girl "Hallie" was and I don't know if it was just me wanting to find someone, but I continued to find myself falling back into talking with this girl, even with all of my other daily activities going on."And that can be very draining." After talking with Overbo, I realized my approach with dating was all wrong, that Myers-Briggs shouldn't eliminate anyone.After all, as Overbo said so eloquently, "I think you owe it to yourself as an individual to expect more—and to explore more.
With any of these differences, "over time, if there isn't a real understanding about why this other person comes at things [differently], resentment can build, and you may think, 'Gosh, this person doesn't really appreciate what I need,'" Overbo said.
I really need to get energized before I'm ready to engage in that kind of discourse.'" "A lot of times that can cause some issues" because S-types are more detailed-oriented and N-types are more big-picture.
An example: While cooking, an S-type "is going to be measuring out and be really more focused on exactly what's supposed to happen" while the N-type may be like "'We're just gonna throw this in, we're gonna try this new ingredient.' It can cause a lot of humor and fun, but in more serious topics or areas of your life, it can cause some frustration." T-types "decide based on logic and more impersonal analysis" while F-types "make decisions more on human values," which can at times be hard to reconcile.
So the ISTJ thing definitely wasn't a deal breaker, I told myself.
And it didn't seem to be…until he disappeared a week later without explanation.