- Free to send and receive messages, winks and e-cards, chat, rate profiles and photos. - Find your match safely and quickly using our matchmaking service. As a community of more than 40 million individual opinions and ways of experiencing the world, we are always coming up with new ways for our users to meet, go on dates, and fall in love.” Being a widow is bad enough, but telling someone your husband died in the World Trade Center on 9/11 takes it to another level.Some people stutter through the rest of the date and make a hasty exit, never to be heard from again.Having gone through such a major trauma — losing my husband — my outlook on life changed and I realized how short life was.I knew I had to get out there and into the dating world or the time was going to slip away from me.It was hard to know what “the norm” was, or what was considered appropriate by society. I finally realized that I had only myself to judge what felt right, so really the question was: “Am I ready? I knew I was interested in experiencing intimacy again with another person. Most single people in their thirties and forties tend to be divorced or have never been married.” This was also a very difficult question to answer. Do you feel that, as a widow, your dating issues are different than others within your age range? Well, I was unlike most divorced people in that I had no animosity towards my husband. I knew what that felt like, how it worked and that I wasn’t willing to settle for anything less than a good relationship, which I was only able to describe as the feeling of “being home.” There had to be some sort of recognition within the other person, similar values and shared outlook on life.
“The most challenging thing that came to mind when I considered dating again,” says Penny Webb, a widowed Seattle writer and stay-at-home mom, “was wondering who in the world would want a train wreck/mother of two/grieving widow like me!
I had little confidence that anyone would ever be willing to step into my mess of a life.” When her husband died on 9/11, Abigail Carter, author of ( was still in her thirties and the mother of two young children.
After a few years of solitude, she realized that she was ready to date again.
What has been the biggest challenge for you as a widow who’s dating again?
Probably convincing myself that I was still worthy of dating at all.