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Deep in the civil war torn island of the Philippines known as Mindanao, in the town of Cagayan de Oro.

I lived dormant, playing off my high exotic value and dating the Pinay girls of my choosing.

J and I were totally completely honest about our pasts (at least I thought so). He charmed and won over everyone he met, including me. We moved in together officially after 5 months of dating, were engaged after 6, and married almost exactly one year after our first date.

I knew from day one about his struggle with alcohol and drugs but he had just gotten his 4 year sobriety chip and attended weekly AA meetings with his sponsor. He would leave flowers on my doorstep, pick me up from work (even though I lived only a few blocks away), take me out all the time. Our first year of marriage brought a lot of ups and downs; J lost his job, we lost our dog, we moved cities after I was accepted into medical school, J got a new job (that he loved), we adopted a new dog, and things were starting to really come together by those last couple months.

How could something so perfect be so horribly f*cked up?

After multiple phone calls to the school counselor and even the dean, I decided to return and try to go back to school.

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How could this have been going on our entire relationship? There was always some explanation — they were a girl in his class (he is studying to be a NP), a girl he worked with, someone he met who wanted to be a nurse… We didn’t have sex for 2 weeks before or after our wedding, including the wedding night.

But for some reason, the next morning I went into his email account.

I had NEVER done this before, but something in my gut was telling me that I was about to find something horrible. of searching through his sent emails to find various emails to people I didn’t recognize. He kept reassuring me that it was nothing and I should just drop it. But the next morning, I woke up early with the same feeling in my gut.

Pinay girls are tiny little Asian girls without the “Asian” eyes. They usually have thin bodies, but you can find Pinay girls with great asses and racks as well.

They are sweet girls and the best part is that they speak really good English, the best in Asia.

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