But the fact is that 80 percent of unmarried evangelical adults admit to having had pre-marital sex.
Even if that number is flawed or inflated, it's safe to say it's close, and that at the very least more than half of all Christian men and women don't wait until marriage to have sex.
Personally, I do believe that sex is something that was designed by God for two people in a committed, monogamous marriage-like* relationship.
Young Christians who want to follow God's design should wait until they are married.
When he unceremoniously broke up me with two months later, I felt both the pain of rejection and the terror that I had ruined my chances of ever marrying a Christian man.
Seven years later, I'm married to an amazing man who has never once made me feel bad about my past.
His fixation on the fact that she had previously had sex, even though she was repentant about this, clouded their relationship.
He was devastated when she broke up with him, and could never admit anything he'd done wrong.
While there isn't anything wrong with encouraging young people to wait, there is something wrong when that encouragement is done by telling them how ruined their lives will be, and how much they've "lost" if (and most likely when) they do mess up.
Maybe, instead of raising young people to be terrified of sex and the repercussions they'll face if they do mess up, Christian leaders should spend time talking about how amazing it can be when it's within the relationship for which it was intended.
I have been on both sides of it, and I can say that sex with my husband is something incredibly different than anything I'd ever experienced before.
I was not shocked when they broke up though, because she had confessed to me their biggest problem: He would not let go of the fact that she was not a virgin.
Over and over he brought up that he needed to "mourn what was lost," even though these conversations would often end with her in tears.