I think the kids are getting mixed signals on this and many other topics. I would have been one of these girls, but my boyfriend/fiance dumped me in February. Now I wonder what the heck I was thinking back then! I lived every day in dread of becoming and "old maid" by the age of 21.So I met another guy in June and married him in December. I wasn't even picky...nice enough guy would have done. Lucky for me..husband was a college graduate never-mo. ) Ha ha ha...defying all the odds, we're still married today!Utah has the lowest average ages for marriage and it's still not good enough for the Morg.God forbid females don't marry straight out of high school and males straight off their missions. Hanging Out-June 2006 Ensign quotes [Dallin Oaks - Mormon Apostle] Date: May 26, 2006 Author: zinah Here you go. Start with a variety of dates with a variety of young women, and when that phase yields a good prospect proceed to courtship. That is what the Lord intends for His young sons and daughters." "And, young women, please make is easier for these shy males to ask for a simple, inexpensive date. Finally, young women if you turn down a date, be kind. It you read the whole article you would see that there is plenty of equal opportunity guilting going on here. It has been replaced with "hanging out" "you don't need to do your looking through internet chat rooms or dating services" "..for someone to pair off with. Subject: Don't make arguments that aren't there Date: May 26 Author: Johnnie Walker Actually, Oaks equally blasts males for failing to "step it up" and pair off and get married, essentially calling those that did not do so immature.I'm only 20 and whenever I talk to my TBM mom, she mentions that I should be looking to get married soon.Too bad it's no longer like the good ol' days where it was acceptable for creepy old men like Joe Smith to marry 14 year old girls.
Otherwise you may crush a nervous and shy questioner and destroy him as a potential dater, and that could hurt some other sister." and blah blah blah. Date: May 26 Author: Dagny I remember when the church came out and advised kids to date in groups. They did their part to squelch kids from learning how to date and relate with the opposite sex one on one. Well, no surprise, the kids now date in groups and the pairing isn't happening soon enough for the church. When my daughter was in high school here in Mormon land, I was surprised when her dates, even to things like the prom, had to be with a group. For years they beat the drum for the youth not to get serious and to group date..other words.... The attack that I felt was unfair only to females (as opposed to both genders) was Oaks' blaming of the "women's movement" for the phenomenon of "hanging out." Subject: Heaven forbid a women wants to finish a grad degree and not have to sacrifice for her worthy, priesthood holder...
It's like they police themselves to make sure no one is able to develop a relationship without the group present. Date: May 26 Author: David Peters OMG, did he just complain that dating is replaced by hanging out.
I think the kids are getting mixed signals on this and many other topics. Do they honestly need the old fashioned conventions to get to know someone that the church would have them marry for time and all eternity?
The scary question is then...are these sources, who and when are they observing and then reporting back to the GA's. Subject: "...please make is easier for these shy males to ask for a simple, inexpensive date." Date: May 26 Author: anon EXCUSE ME?! Here's an idea: Let's make women everywhere responsible for Dallin Oaks' past dating failures in college. Let's make them responsible for the monetary cost of dating, and for ruining the potential dates of fellow "sisters" the Mo-World over. And don't you just *love* how he fails to see the connection between IMMENSE pressure to get married, and Mormon kids just not dating as much. Those quotes are a perfect example of why the town Geek should never write dating rules for the rest of us. Subject: group dates Date: May 28 Author: I married at 18 I remember the group dating rule only applied to younger kids...girls under 18 and boys under 21.
Hmmmmmm Rocket scientist I am not, but good grief, when *every* date is a potential engagement, it kinda takes the FUN out of it. Subject: so why can't the "young women" ask someone out? People generally began pairing off at 16..that was really frowned upon by most.