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I interpreted everything as a sign of interest so I told her that night that I liked her and she completely freaked out saying that she “had no idea” and is “too busy right now” etc.(Yes – we were very drunk – 2 bottles of wine and a few cocktails each).Our mutual friend had a very long chat with Miss B and was surprised to learn that she didn’t realize that cuddling me, holding my hand, meeting my friends and going out to dinner with me several times was anything other than being ‘friendly’. ) The mutual friend didn’t reveal the reasons which Miss B gave but did say that ‘age’ was one of them.Apparently Miss B claimed that holding hands doesn’t mean anything more than close friendship in China(? Everyone in our close circle of friends is very surprised.I feel that I am entering a cultural minefield as I don’t know how the situation can be interpreted in my ‘Westernised Dating’ experiences.Additionally, due to my Chinese appearance, I am doubly concerned that others would ‘expect’ me to know the norms.

My Hong Kong/Malaysian/Singaporean Chinese friends have jointly warned me to be very careful not to rush things.

(I’m 35 but often mistaken to be approximately 26-28).

A few Chinese students have approached me who appear to be ‘over friendly’ towards me from my ‘Westernized’ dating/friendship viewpoint.

As she is quite fun, I have invited her to join me and my friends at various events, lunches and she always seems keen to accept.

Several mutual friends began to ask us questions about our relationship status but she never replies either way when we’re asked together.


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